Vampires Suck

So let me take a stab at this; Vampires Suck sucks! No wait, this movie bites!  I went back and forth on the idea of wasting precious moments of my life reviewing this movie, but then I realized maybe, just maybe, someone will heed my warning and steer clear of this movie! This movie was chosen simply because nothing else came out this week and it was in the right time slot. The trailer looked semi-entertaining and it's good for one to poke fun at oneself every now and then. This movie cost only $20 million to make and it has already grossed over $27 million domestically. The studio execs should be happy that they made a profit although the product is utter trash.

The plot is marketed as a spoof on modern day vampire and teen angst movies, with Twilight at the helm.

The plot actually centered solely on Twilight and New Moon alone. There was maybe one or two references to other movies/shows in the entire movie. For the first quarter of the movie, it was a frame by frame remake of Twilight. It used over the top slapstick humor along with some random remarks and one liners strewn about in no particular order.

The only thing I can say was good in this movie was the lighting and costumes. They were pretty accurate replications of the movies they were parodying, (if that's not a word it should be). The also remade some of the songs with literal lyrics which were almost funny, and I appreciated the effort there.

None of the actors were funny. The 'Becca' character did a pretty good job of portraying Bella's nuances. Some of the male actors were nice to look at. The 'Edward' was probably the best actor in the movie, and was almost funny in some parts, which isn't saying much in comparison.

If I hadn't picked this movie for the club, I would've walked out if I was watching it legitimately, well that's not true. I never would've picked this movie in the first place. This was an epic fail. It pretty much centered on only Twilight and a little bit of New Moon. There were maybe two jokes in the whole movie which were a little bit humorous. To be honest, I really didn't expect much from this movie and that's exactly what it delivered. It was a tv commercial that dragged on for an hour and a half too long. "The Zolturri are self-centered and see only the narrow section of their own world, kinda like Fox News" -- Vampires Suck.